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Ok. I will put this out for ALL to see.

If one of my Flist is having problems with teh dramah, dont bring it here. If you see me on an Flist of someone you are trolling, leave it be. I have NO desire to get involved with other's quarrels, online or otherwise.

Why can't people just leave it be? Why can't they just let someone leave and start over without hunting them down like a wounded animal and falling all over them??? What do they get out of making that person's life miserable? I have no idea.

Just don't get me involved. I will say WHATEVER I need to to get you to leave me the fuck alone. If you have some sicjk need to cyber-stalk some poor person, I will volunteer to be the "Undercover Agent" if you will, and then proceed to ignore you. If you press the issue, I'll just ban. Simple as that. I am an ADULT, and as such I have left that form of hazing and bullying in the schoolyard.

So. Dont troll me. Dont troll me because you see me on your victim's Flist. Don't, just DON'T. OK?

just a bit wrong in the head, my dear. . .

ok. Now I am the kind of gal Hank Hill would say is "just ain't right" (OMG spell check passes Ain't but doesnt know the word Beleaguered? WTF?) I have always reveled in this. My mother calls it "just trying to do the exact opposite of what ever I would do!", but I enjoy pissing her off so I said "Yeah riiiiggghhht". But one thing that she has taught me is that IN ALL THINGS the kids come first. I had them on New Years, so that meant that my New Years Eve was Lydi, Bobby and I making Hot Cocoa, Chocolate Chip Cookies, and watching Transformers over and over again. Not ALL of the movie, mind you. Just the robot parts because "The rest is just BORING mommie!" according to my nearly 4 year old son. Then we watched Growing Up Creepie, a Discovery Kids show about a goth girl who was raised by bugs. And Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. My daughter begged to watch Nightmare before Christmas again, but instead we watched James and the Giant Peach. All in all a good time was had. The only problem????

Earlier that morning, me being a tard did what tards DO and tripped over a rug at work and royally screwed up my back. Had to go to the er and shit even. The problem, instead of giving me some Vicodin (which would have knocked me on my ASS!!!) they gave me a muscle relaxer. And told me to take Motrin. WTF? But I feel much better today anyways. I had taken a Flexoril last night and took a bath, and woke up at 3 am when the bathwater nearly froze my favorite bits off. S, needless to say I am in rare fucking form at work today.

Pam asked me what was going on, and I said "as in?" meaning with me/with the business/with your fucking files/what? She looked at me and said "Whats wrong?" nothing, I am peachy fucking keen. The she tells angeline and I to take down all the Xmas decorations while she gets her nails done. I am REALLY regreting the fact that Angeline and I whored up her office so much. 3000 pipe cleaners, various ornaments, and sundries took us mucho tiempo. ahh well.

Tired of Scene kids and their antics.

So, I went yesterday to the local Mall. Our mall here is WAY small, but so is Merced, so WTF you know? Well, I went to the Topic. A VERY BAD IDEA! I buy only my body jewelry there. 9 times out of ten if I get something to wear there I see it on like 10,000 little scene fucks, so I generally dont even bother. So, I got some coolearrings with a pentacle on the broad part, and a pair of tunnels for Andrew. Buying body jewelry for me is an addiction. I have SOOOO many pairs of earrings and posts for my fun piercings. YAY ME!!! (oops, there I go, digressing again *slaps hand* hey that felt good! *slap slap slap*, ahem....)

Well, there was a MOB of tweenie scene kids, cooing over all the Twatlight crap there. Seriously, you walk in and there is rack after rack of that lame shit. But I waded past the scene kids, and looked at the jewelrey, made my selection and went to the counter.

I commented to the poor beleaguered (hot hot) chick that worked there "I cant WAIT for this Twilight shit to die an untimely death!" She laughed and said "Yeah. Fuckers are EVERYWHERE!" pointing to the Scene fucks. "Used to be that only the dedicated were into this shit, because of the drive (the nearest Topic used to be a couple of hours drive away). But now every little emo shit can just waltz in here and annoy me."

The Scene kids heard her and I talking (how not, the racks are RIGHT FUCKING THERE!) and glared at us. But scene fucks, being what they are, only glare. I smiled brightly and finger waved at them all. The gal behind the register laughed her ass off. I paid and as I walked out gave the kiddies another bright smile/finger wave. "Aren't your mommies looking for you guys?" ANd I left, swelling with pride at my superiority.

What the hell is it with these Scene kids in Merced now? I see them shivering in their little Topic coats as they walk down M Street in front of my office window. I know that Topic has some cool shit (except for that wanna be Arnocorps cd they carried) but WTF?!?!?! You are stealing the validity of the real Goth scene in town. Not that there is much of one right now. I think they all went into hiding when the Topic came to town.

And what the FUCK is it with Yo Gabba Gabba? That is the LAMEST kids show I have ever had the misfortune to view! Ad that shit is EVERYWHERE in there. The Miffy craze was alright, I got one of the plush toys for my daughter's Birthday. And the Hello Kitty craze was cute for about a second or two. But my daughters favorite doll is STILL the Claudine Kitten doll that I got at the Topic for her, and everytime that we go in there she gravitates toward the horror film dolls and stuff like that. *sniff* I am SOOO proud of my little girl!

Damn, lost my thread there. Maybe I will find it later. . .
ARGH!!!!

I was recently in the waiting room at a local office. I was there to have them sign some final documents on a placement. There were two high schoolish (15-16) looking girls there, looking like Madonna-ala-the-80's threw up all over them, giggling about something I could really care less about.

I thought I looked pretty rockin. Hell, I look good for my age, I think. I was sporting my knee high stiletto boots, black stocking, short black skirt, business jacket with a black and red skirt underneath it. I have really short red hair (shorter than my user pic here) and I had my briefcase with me and my purse. Nothing that would scream "OUT OF TOUCH OLDER WOMAN!!"

So what happens? I am listening to these girl go on and on about "OMG! CULLEN!! TWILIGHT!! SPARKLY VAMPIRES!!!!1!" I kind of groaned under my breath (hell you see one vapid fangurl you have seen them all amirite?) and tried to look away. I didnt want to breathe in the Aqua Net fumes and catch their stupid.

I heard a contemptuous sniff from their direction. I looked over (more in shock that anyone could breathe in that overwhelming cloud of cheap hairspray and perfume fumes than from any real interest) and they were both looking at me. "Yes?" I asked in my nicest I-am-talking-to-morons voice (I get alot of use out of it at the office lemme tell you!) "You don't like Twilight?" one asked me. Me: "Um, it's not really my . . . thing I guess." "huh" says girl 1. I turned away and they called me into the back office. As I am walking off I hear this jewel.

"well, what do you EXPECT? She's my mother's age!" from girl 2.
"Yeah! I bet she even likes GIRLS!!!!11!" said girl 1.

WTF?!?!!? Since when did being 33 mean being out of touch? Some of the coolest people I knew when I was their ages were my current age. And WTF about me liking girls???? I thought it was trendy to be bisexual these days, or has that trend passed? And does it show? Is having short red hair a new marker for the Bisexual community now?

I wish someone had told me. I would not have had to renew my card for the Pussy Attacking Muff Diver's Association (P.A.M.D.A. - which was an actual club I was in in college, we just never told anyone what the letters stood for!) Saved myself all those entry fees. Damn my out-of-touch ways!!!!

Some new digits are coming . . .

ok. I am getting a new cell phone number, so anyone that has my OLD number, I will let ya know what it is when I know it. K?

Tard Watch 2009 in the Works

Ok, so my fiancee wants to get involved here on LJ. He is a fecking riot to listen to (I may be just a touch biased!) and he was thinking about doing an entry here. Basically he doesn't look at my LJ, but his Myspace is rather filled with people from his work, and he doesn't want them to see what he thinks about their overall moronic behavior. So this was my suggestion to him:

Me: well, Babe, if you are REALLY serious about this, you could just email all the entries to me at work, and I can put them onto my LJ.
Him: huh. Do you really think anyone would want to read it?
Me: I would. And we could put a disclaimer in the opening of each entry, like "All of the tards listed herein are complete and utter wastes of time. Real names have been changed due to the fact that I dont want to be the one to have to tell them that they are a complete waste of space". Hows that?
Him: sounds like a plan.

So, it is planned to work like this. He will write the entries, and I will place them (under the obligatory cut) on my LJ under the header "Tard Watch 2009, the Observances of an Absorbent Man" with each separate Tard listed under a cut. He isn't connected to my LJ in any way (other than listed above) so he won't be seeing or reading comments at all. If I think that there are some funny ones or some that he might need to see, I will clue him in and he can look them up, if he so desires. Basically, it's just him making observations about the everyday stupid that he sees here in the fair city of More-Dead (Merced) California.

If they make you laugh, feel free to pass them on. If they make you mad, feel free to point them out so that other people can get mad at us too. If you can see people you know in the entries, you can laugh along with us at them, vicariously. If you see yourself, well then . . . you know how we feel about that.

Don't take it too seriously, he's just in it for the lulz. He just wants to get it out, and to have people see it who might actually appreciate his dry and sarcastic wit. He is the guy in the supermarket who grabs the marinated braided Mozzarella Cheese logs, and drops it on the floor behind him and points at me and yells "Couldn't you hold it for ONE SECOND?!?!?!" The guy who goes to horror movies and laughs himself silly at an inside joke. Basically, he is just the man I love, and I think he is as funny as hell, and I want to brag about it, lol.

Fist installment is coming soon. (Hopefully it won't be ME)

this is my mom, dad, Lydia and Bobby at the kids' Tae Kuan Do potluck.

Well, Yule has come and gone. Now I only have to survive Christmas eve and Christmas day. The ex let me have the kids for Yule, so that he could go to Vegas with his brothers. He picked them up for a couple of hours on sunday, so that was good.

Argh! Work has been so busy! The plumbing blew, due to a combination of the sewers being blown out, the hard frost that we had last week, and the pipe clogging. COMPLETE blowout. The side of the office looks like someone exploded a Shit Bomb underneath it, seriously. It flooded MY offivce too, damn it. It was just WATER in there, but DAMN!!!

Pam gave everyone their Xmas bags, and is planning a catered event at work. We are only open until 130, and then we close the doors and say CYA! until friday. We got a $200 xmas bonus, which I promptly spent on my family presents. I got my boss a heated mug, the kind you can plud into you lighter in the car and it will warm up your coffee. She is always bitching that her coffee gets ice cold between here and Vallejo. Angeline picked out a cute green scarf from the Topic. She got me a pair of suede slippers to wear in the office. YAY!

But I seem to be so tired all the time lately. Wen am I going to get a chance to sit down and catch my breath for once? I have been running at full tilt all month.

Angeline is SRS BZNS

Here is a conversation that JUST happened. . .

Me-self-defining
A- Awesome Co-Worker Angeline

Me-(typing away furiously at my computer, IMing a friend and telling them a lame azzed joke)
A- What the fuck? Are you writing a fucking novel over there? (yeah, she has a potty mouth, that is why we get along so well)
Me- Yeah. That is exactly what I am doing here.
A- Well, I better get some credit for that shit, because I KNOW I am your inspiration.
Me- Yeah. YOU, Angeline, are the wind beneath my wings.
A- You better fucking BELIEVE that shit.

lol, I just wrote "such SRS BZNS" on her drivers side window with my Bronze Frost lipstick she hates. She is going to KILL me!
Sometimes you see things that make you sit up and go WTF?!?!?!

Today at work I got a call while I was IMing a friend (yeah, I IM at wurk, so sue me) I am the point of reference for my place of employment. In other words I am the Jill of All Duties at a Temp agency/Secretarial service. I get to see a LOT of srsly fuked hup shite. Well, I took a call from one of my minions (I like that word better than Temps, has a saucier feel to it!) Hell, I digressed yet again, Man I am bad about that.

Well, the cal, I am getting to it. I get a call from a Minion. She says that she cant go into work today at MD C's office. Because her car was stolen. Now, I full admit that I am pretty fucked up. As soon as I hung up the phone I IMed my friend and said basically that S.'s car had been stolen. I was laughing my ass off. The sad part? She was planning on moving today , so all her shit was in the back of her truck bed (covered of course). I nearly laughed myself sick at her. My friend called me "Evil" and I referred him to my most beloved website www.evilkicksass.com and he even laughed at some of the shit there. So I end up having to inspect a jobsite, and sign off. I am driving in the Shortbus (my monster red Minivan of Doom) and I get a call from S. on my cell that she IS going in her mother is going to drive her. That made me laugh so hard I nearly hit another car.

The backlog on S. She is a 50-something woman with MAJOR medical Office Manager experience. She is SO friendly and nice and I got her that job. She has only called in sick once (Due to massive amounts of body fluids evacuating through her oral cavity) and she has an Altzheimer's ridden father that she cares for, and her mother is none to well either. Now, she has a seriously fuked up homelife, and is JUST NOW able to move out from her parents house because they got homecare. She is moving in to her new diggs today, or at least that WAS the plan.

so, I inspect the jobsite and all, and then it hit me. . . I AM SUCH A BITCH!

Here I sit in my office, every day, and watch the Ambulances and cops and Firemen go by at the very least once a day (Most was about 10, average is about 5), I see people that are at the bottom, just wanting a leg up, and all I can do is laugh at them? WTF?!?!?

I know I have it bad.  But seriously????  Not as bad, or even NEAR as bad as some I see here in my office.  Like Beast Porn Lady.  We had a woman test in one of our offices and run out really quickly beofre I could stop her.  I was checking the browser on the laptop in that office and what do I see???  She was searching Beast Porn on the internets. SRSLY.  I mean, how much does it suck to be SO addicted to beast porn that you search it on a computer where you are applying for a job????  My life isnt THAT fucked.

And then I see things like the thing in the newspaper a while back.  A guy got so pissed off at his 5 year old Daughter having an accident in bed, he picked her up and THREW her into the tiled shower, turned on the cold water, and then threw her back into bed.  He then went out on his paper route, came back home a few hours later, and she was dead.  Blunt force trauma to the head from being thrown into the tile wall of the shower.  WTF?!?!?

And my daughter's classmate.  His mother left him and his 18 motnth old brother in the care of a 16 year old.  FOR A FEW WEEKS.  The baby was crying so the 16 year old "Whupped him til he shut up".  Baby died due to severe beating.  Little boy in my daughter's class is now in the custody of CPS.  ANd his "awesome mother " (sarcasm) had to be called by the cops and escorted back to town.  She was living the high life in San Franscisco.  WTF!?!?!?

Am I just so used to seeing the Bad Side that I am immune to the pain of others?  When did I get to be SUCH A BITCH?!?!
YAY! I got a christmas card the other day! Thank you Peanuthorst! You rock out loud.

And in other news, here is the promised tat Pic



It's just a jumping off point, going to add in more color, some chains and stuff. Work in progress my friends, work in progress.

And here is a pic of my daughter I took a few min ago. She woke up because she heard me laughing and couldnt get back to sleep. DAMN YOU LJ!!!!




But it is 5 am, been up since 130 am. I am so fucking sick I can hardly see, and I still have to work. ARGH!!!